About Me
- Fibro Tena
- United States
- I am a mother of 4 with a loving husband. I have been in chronic pain for years now. I have a support group but I need to do more to bring awareness to fibro an to get my feelings about about it so I hope that this will help. I am very loving an understanding.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Tuesday night
I did not write this morning was very sore. I got my new pills an they seem to help more but it is the first day that I have taken them so I will find out. I talked to some friends an both my mom an dad so that is always nice. I am not so depressed today which is a good thing but I still worry an I have been trying to find ways to make myself stop but that is easier said then done same with the pain. I try not to think about it put it in the back of my head but it does not always work that way. But even though I get depressed there is one think that I have to say I would never hurt my self ever. I do not think that is right an I am to strong I will not give in like that. But any way I had a good day that was nice but these pills make my head a little funny so I am off an will write more tomorrow. <3 Tena
Monday, February 28, 2011
Fibromyalgia Survivor: Monday Night/afternoon
Fibromyalgia Survivor: Monday Night/afternoon: "Well I am scared I went to the doctor an she put me on some more pills but if these do not work it may be the disks in my neck. I also..."
Monday Night/afternoon
Well I am scared I went to the doctor an she put me on some more pills but if these do not work it may be the disks in my neck. I also have to start counseling I am ok with that but I really do not like leaving home. So Know I am going to be worried the whole month till I see my doctor again an know what is going on then wait to take an MRI. I really hope it is my muscles.
I am very depressed the anxiety kicks in an the I hurt so much more. I really hate fibro right know. I try to stay up beat an think the best of every thing but today it is not one of them. I can not turn my brain off, Have millions of things going through my head at once. So I am going to go with it an write an write some more.
I am worried that the disk are going to be bad in my neck,
I am worried about the kids when they go to school,
I worried about Ted being at work,
I worried that I will not have money for bills/ But I know that I do but I am still scared does not make scene to ma at all,
I worry about that something bad is going to be bad when I answer the phone,
I worried about the fibro all the time pain after pain never going away or that the doctor missed something,
I worry about worry.
There is so many other things. I am just not ready to say them. I have to say before I had chronic pain I could do so much then when the pain went chronic some days are hard just to go to the bathroom. I fight so hard to try to put these things out of my mind. But when I have days like this It is to hard of a fight. It feels as if I am in going to explode, scream, through something. So I will try to stick to my self. So no groups or talking just my writing. That is the only way that I can get out how I feel I worry that I will hurt someones feelings an I would never do that So on with the writing. So I will try to figure out why I feel this way an what has happened to make me feel this upset.
I had a good morning the kids fought a little but it was not bad in any way. Got to spend time with my hubby an sister so that is always nice to have. I talked in the group a little wrote in my blog some to. Went to the doctor an not really know what is going to go. Ted got home an we talked an looked at some things on PS3 I forgot that I also talked on the phone with some friends an family. The only thing that went bad was the doctors appt. but that is really not a good reason to feel the way. I have always been in a lot of pain just got over a flare but it feels as another is coming back. An that it may be worse then before. Do u know when u get really cold an it makes you hurt a lot well that is how tight my muscles feel. Then the weakness kicks in an all u want to do is sleep cuz all the pain has made u so tried u do not know how to stay awake an you go to sleep early cuz u think that it will make you feel better, but u can not sleep cuz no matter how hard u try u can not get comfortable.So you wait till your honey comes to bed so that you are not alone ( you feel alone all the time no matter what u do even when the room is full of your family an friends) an be so scared if people will come over then give u pity cuz you hurt so bad u can not even brush your hair, an when u do it is as if some one is pulling it out. So u brush it a little an wear a hat or put it in a pony. while worry about this you feel as if people are staring as if there was something on your face that you could not see, an when your hubby comes to bed u snuggle with him an you love when your are being held, but it hurts so bad that you want to cry. So you snuggle as long as you can an then cruel up in the heating blanket so u still get the warmth that comes from from your honey. But when ever you get touched here a noise an all the worry's that are on your mind. So you watch some T.V. so you can put all that is on your mind back were it belongs an fall asleep. To wake up the next morning hurting so bad that you do not want to move ( that is what they call morning stiffness, if they knew the truth they would not call it stiffness) So you wake up an lay there hoping that u will be able to get up soon, but worried that can not an the kids miss the bus an hubby is at work cuz you are to scared to drive. So no matter what you get up talk to hubby an help the kids. So they are off to school an you talk a little on there group an games not always doing anything. Then you go to lay down take a nap an the phone wakes you up or you have the alone feeling again. Living this day after day can be very hard but knowing that it hurts so much more to fight it all then giving in so you fight back trying to help others an thinking of good things while pushing all the bad things back in the privet spot in the back were u found them. So u do good for a little while then every thing repeats its self more then ones sometimes days or months even hours you never really know.
Some people believe in fibromyalgia some do not. They call it the inviable disease but does this sound like one to you. To me it does not this is what I live with everyday an trying to keep moving forward an try to make the best of it. I am a very strong person but not everyone can be everyday. U need family and friends even if they are just on the internet u can find some of the best people on there an I have an they have helped me in more ways then one. All the people I grew up with are not here everyday to help me an it is not there fault they all have lives an family's but still hurting in side cuz it does not matter if they have something to do or not they just can not deal with you an see what has happened to a friend of there's so they stop calling. You try to call them but they never answered or call u back so u gave up on them an realize that they were really not your friends just people u grew up with. But later in life it can just be a couple years you know who will be there an help you. I have lost friend but I have found some amazing people that are now in your life.
Sorry if this does not make scene to any of the people who read it but I was just writing what was going on in my head an hopping that I will be better tomorrow. So good night/morning to all. Hope it is a great one for you. Tena
I am very depressed the anxiety kicks in an the I hurt so much more. I really hate fibro right know. I try to stay up beat an think the best of every thing but today it is not one of them. I can not turn my brain off, Have millions of things going through my head at once. So I am going to go with it an write an write some more.
I am worried that the disk are going to be bad in my neck,
I am worried about the kids when they go to school,
I worried about Ted being at work,
I worried that I will not have money for bills/ But I know that I do but I am still scared does not make scene to ma at all,
I worry about that something bad is going to be bad when I answer the phone,
I worried about the fibro all the time pain after pain never going away or that the doctor missed something,
I worry about worry.
There is so many other things. I am just not ready to say them. I have to say before I had chronic pain I could do so much then when the pain went chronic some days are hard just to go to the bathroom. I fight so hard to try to put these things out of my mind. But when I have days like this It is to hard of a fight. It feels as if I am in going to explode, scream, through something. So I will try to stick to my self. So no groups or talking just my writing. That is the only way that I can get out how I feel I worry that I will hurt someones feelings an I would never do that So on with the writing. So I will try to figure out why I feel this way an what has happened to make me feel this upset.
I had a good morning the kids fought a little but it was not bad in any way. Got to spend time with my hubby an sister so that is always nice to have. I talked in the group a little wrote in my blog some to. Went to the doctor an not really know what is going to go. Ted got home an we talked an looked at some things on PS3 I forgot that I also talked on the phone with some friends an family. The only thing that went bad was the doctors appt. but that is really not a good reason to feel the way. I have always been in a lot of pain just got over a flare but it feels as another is coming back. An that it may be worse then before. Do u know when u get really cold an it makes you hurt a lot well that is how tight my muscles feel. Then the weakness kicks in an all u want to do is sleep cuz all the pain has made u so tried u do not know how to stay awake an you go to sleep early cuz u think that it will make you feel better, but u can not sleep cuz no matter how hard u try u can not get comfortable.So you wait till your honey comes to bed so that you are not alone ( you feel alone all the time no matter what u do even when the room is full of your family an friends) an be so scared if people will come over then give u pity cuz you hurt so bad u can not even brush your hair, an when u do it is as if some one is pulling it out. So u brush it a little an wear a hat or put it in a pony. while worry about this you feel as if people are staring as if there was something on your face that you could not see, an when your hubby comes to bed u snuggle with him an you love when your are being held, but it hurts so bad that you want to cry. So you snuggle as long as you can an then cruel up in the heating blanket so u still get the warmth that comes from from your honey. But when ever you get touched here a noise an all the worry's that are on your mind. So you watch some T.V. so you can put all that is on your mind back were it belongs an fall asleep. To wake up the next morning hurting so bad that you do not want to move ( that is what they call morning stiffness, if they knew the truth they would not call it stiffness) So you wake up an lay there hoping that u will be able to get up soon, but worried that can not an the kids miss the bus an hubby is at work cuz you are to scared to drive. So no matter what you get up talk to hubby an help the kids. So they are off to school an you talk a little on there group an games not always doing anything. Then you go to lay down take a nap an the phone wakes you up or you have the alone feeling again. Living this day after day can be very hard but knowing that it hurts so much more to fight it all then giving in so you fight back trying to help others an thinking of good things while pushing all the bad things back in the privet spot in the back were u found them. So u do good for a little while then every thing repeats its self more then ones sometimes days or months even hours you never really know.
Some people believe in fibromyalgia some do not. They call it the inviable disease but does this sound like one to you. To me it does not this is what I live with everyday an trying to keep moving forward an try to make the best of it. I am a very strong person but not everyone can be everyday. U need family and friends even if they are just on the internet u can find some of the best people on there an I have an they have helped me in more ways then one. All the people I grew up with are not here everyday to help me an it is not there fault they all have lives an family's but still hurting in side cuz it does not matter if they have something to do or not they just can not deal with you an see what has happened to a friend of there's so they stop calling. You try to call them but they never answered or call u back so u gave up on them an realize that they were really not your friends just people u grew up with. But later in life it can just be a couple years you know who will be there an help you. I have lost friend but I have found some amazing people that are now in your life.
Sorry if this does not make scene to any of the people who read it but I was just writing what was going on in my head an hopping that I will be better tomorrow. So good night/morning to all. Hope it is a great one for you. Tena
Fibromyalgia Survivor: Monday Morning
Fibromyalgia Survivor: Monday Morning: "Well sleep like crap last night so that makes me in a lot of pain. I have a sick kid home so she will have to go to the doct..."
Monday Morning
Well sleep like crap last night so that makes me in a lot of pain. I have a sick kid home so she will have to go to the doctor's with me. I do not like to bring them cuz it is very painful to go to the doctor's when they find out were your pain is. So that upsets me. I love my kids an they do so much for me an they know that I have pain that is something I can not hide from them but going to the doctor is different then at home. So I am a little upset about it. This something I do not want them to see :( . I also have a really bad headache it sucks. But I good news I get to see my sister an that is always nice an her little boy. But I will write after my appt an tell u all what they said Tena
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Fibromyalgia Survivor: Sunday night
Fibromyalgia Survivor: Sunday night: "I did have another good day today besides the pain. I got to talk to some people that i have missed a lot. Also the kids were go..."
Sunday night
I did have another good day today besides the pain. I got to talk to some people that i have missed a lot. Also the kids were good that is always a plus. I am nervous about the doctors appt tomorrow I always am. I hate going to them an I do not like being on pills. I am picky when it comes to the pills that I will take. I also get to see mu sister tomorrow she is bring me to the doctor. I really do not have much to write tonight but some days will be like this. I hope u all have a wonderful day/night. Tena
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